goodbye dearest . . .

Today was Maya's last day. She made it to 9 but now has been in pain and losing bladder control and kind of bit me last night...so it was time. But man oh man will she ever be missed...

 We all love you so much.

You will be greatly missed...goodbye my dearest dog...

summer solstice

Today is the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year. A day to celebrate the sun (which is actually out and shining brightly today). Today is a good day.
I don't have much to say about the Summer Solstice. I'm glad that it's here and the weather completely agrees with its presence. Too bad I can't go celebrate the day at Stonehenge...oh well, maybe some other year. For now I'll just have to bask in the sun and paint something wonderful.
Oh and Happy Solstice everyone...enjoy the day :)

our declaration of independence: my rant about our now-gone tyrannical "patriarch"

Yes, I know that it isn't the 4th of July yet - but that's fine, because this is a different kind of independence that I am going to be talking about here. This is a personal, familial, emotional independence. The kind of independence that this here little family of mine has been waiting for for years now.
Independence from him, from the evil stepfather, from Richard. It is long, long overdue, but we have finally made our declaration. He has used up every last ounce of patience that my mother and I had for him. He has pushed the boundaries and been a complete @$$ way too many times. So now he has been evicted from our lives. Last Saturday was negotiation day between him and my mother. On Sunday he found an apartment. On Tuesday they approved it for him. And today he is gone. Moving out. Most of his things are already out of our house, and the rest of it is being removed right now (I am hiding out at Starbucks, avoiding the drama). By the end of the night, we will be officially free. No more getting treated like absolute shit by him. No more 8th grade drama from a 56yr old man. NO MORE HIM!
Let us just take a moment here to appreciate how much better our lives will be without him darkening our home. Let us just acknowledge that he is done damaging us, done neglecting us, done hurting us, done being a lying, cheating, selfish old fuck around us. He no longer has access to our house or our lives. I mean, of course, my mother will have to make contact with him every now and again to arrange when he gets to see their son, but other that, she and I are just done. I can't even begin to really express how happy I am about him being gone. It is just.so.awesome.
We are free now, this family of mine. Free from the oppression of his sad attempt at being a husband and father. Free to live our lives happily, free to have a good day all day, and not just from morning until his return from work. Simply free. So thank you, mom, for staging this coup and getting him out. Thank you, Universe, for letting everything work out so well for this. Thank you thank you thank you!

gluten-free chocolate-on-chocolate action

The last week-and-a-half have been, on-and-off, incredibly stressful. I can't say why right now because it isn't my place to disclose other peoples' business on the Interwebs. Maybe later I will explain it though. But for now, just ask me personally if you don't already know what has been going on. Anyway, it got even more stressful/depressing yesterday, so today I really needed to just have some down time and do some stuff for me.
So, after I got home from my therapist appointment (yes, I have a therapist - don't you dare judge me for that), I showered and baked what looks like a really delicious chocolate cake (gluten-free, of course). I iced it with chocolate icing and sprinkled crushed peppermint on top. I cannot wait to have a piece later - chocolate, in nearly all forms, makes everything better.

Looks good, huh? :)
After the cake, I pampered myself in a girly way and painted my nails, and then I went and had some fun with my watercolors...

 I wasn't particularly skilled artistically today, but the simple act of painting (no matter the quality), helped. So I painted that flower, and then I found a paper plate and did this to it:

Throughout this whole day, I have had the house to myself, which always means I was blasting music - today's artist of choice? Eminem <3 This is my new favorite song of his:

how a trip to the library turned into a small adventure

Today the boyfriend had a half-day, so we decided to meet up at the library after he got out to work on our history projects. I was at the library about an hour and a half before he would be, so I took the time to get a head start on my own work (which I made a wonderful amount of progress on). His school got out at 11:45, and at 11:50 he called me. At first I thought that he was suddenly unable to come, but then he told me that his mom (an elementary school teacher) had just called and asked him to come pick up a lost boxer puppy they had just found on their playground, and did I want to come along? Well of course I wanted to tag along - any opportunity to see a puppy is one I want to take :)
So we went on over to his madre's school to get the lil pup, and ohmygoodness she was just the cutest darn little boxer ever!

Irresistible, right?!:) [Yes and the puppy is pretty cute too...hehe :P]
Well, we took her to the vet and they scanned her for a microchip - there was none (which his mom called and informed us of a few minutes later, when the owner showed up). At the vet, though, there was a great sign that read "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate measures." Gotta love that.
Since the owner had turned up, Bailey (apparently that was the adorable little creature's name) had to be returned :( But it was still fun to get to spend some time pretending she was ours.
After the dog was no longer any of our responsibility,  the boyfriend and I went and spent some time in his mom's classroom. That was so much fun :) Kids are so great!
So then we finally left and went back to the library to get that history work tended to. But...what a fun interruption :)

she's home!

My dear mother and little brother have been down in Vancouver and Portland for the last five days for the Life is Good Unschooling Conference. They definitely had fun, but oh how i missed them! Especially since I was left at home with a certain someone whom I, to put it lightly, am not all that fond of. But I ended up spending the whole time in my room, watching a ridiculous amount of movies and texting almost my entire contacts list. I was, of course, bored out of my mind. But I was lucky enough to get to spend some time with my wonderful boyfriend and his family, which definitely helped :)
Anyway, the conference ended yesterday, so today, at around 1, my mom and brother came home!!! I am so excited to have them back, especially my mommy, who I missed so much more than I expected to! So to welcome her/them back home, I baked some gluten-free chocolate cupcakes this morning...

The bottom layer has white chocolate chips in them, the middle is just regular chocolate, and the top three have powdered peppermint candies baked into the top :) Delicious!

Oh and welcome home Mommy! <3

my brief interview with Jerry Seltzer

So I'm currently taking a US History class focusing on the United States in the 20th Century. The final project in the class is an extensive research outline (one step below a research paper), and I have chosen to do mine on Roller Derby and its decline in the early 70's. Considering how much I love the sport, I figured this would be a perfect topic - I'm actually interested in it enough to be fully motivated to research away and write one hell of an outline. Last night I was working on the second-to-last step in the project (an annotated bibliography) when I realized that I hadn't a single primary source. Panicked, I began scouring Google for any sort of related interview with someone like Jerry Seltzer or roller derby queen Ann Calvello. Finding interviews wasn't hard - finding interviews that could actually help my project, was. 

Eventually I stumbled across Jerry Seltzer's blog and, upon scrolling through numerous entries about Roller Derby, I was suddenly struck with the idea that, since this guy's still alive and all, I might as well just try to interview him myself. I then discovered that he had a Facebook page, so I sent him a message about an interview and he responded not only quickly, but with exactly what I wanted to hear - "Of course." Anyone who knows me well knows that this kind of thing - contacting someone I don't know, much less someone somewhat famous (at least to everyone who knows their Roller Derby stuff) - is so completely far from anything I would normally do. But I am so very glad that I went out of my comfort zone and just did it, because now I have been rewarded with a  nice little interview with Jerry Seltzer. Not to mention that I could hardly stop grinning like a fool all night due to the excitement.

Now, before I post the interview, let me tell you all a little about him - Jerry Seltzer is the son of Leo Seltzer, Roller Derby's founding father. He was only three when his father started it all up, but a little over twenty years later, he took over after his father. Jerry spent the next 15 years running the operation, until he was forced to shut things down in 1973. 

The Interview (May 26,2011, via email):

1. Your father started Roller Derby when you were very young. Being that it has always been a big part of your life, have you always had the same feelings for the sport, or has your attitude towards it changed over the years?

My attitude has definitely changed....in the 60s and 70s I regarded it as my business and the necessity of keeping it operating in order to be profitable.....it was hard to enjoy the games as much as I do now.  People didn't realize the our whole league never had large capitalization ( I incorporated with just $500) and the 7 or 8 people who worked with me had to work hard to keep it going.

2. Roller Derby spent the majority of its early days in New York, but, after you took over in 1958, you moved the operation to San Francisco. Why?

My father had his operation based in New York until the early 50's when he moved to southern California.  He then was promoting out of New York, Chicago and Los Angeles, and then completely out of Los Angeles until 1958.  As revenues decreased, he concentrated on land development in Antelope Valley (by Edwards Air Force Base), and decided to shut down the operation.  I was living in northern California at that time and had done some track side announcing when Roller derby came to the San Francisco Bay Area.  I asked him if I could continue promoting the game, and he said of course but he could not back it financially. And basically in 1959 I reformed the Derby, starting showing games on a station in San  Francisco, videotaped the games and created my own independent network and by the early 60's we were seen in over 110 stations in the US and Canada.  We would schedule our league play in the SF Bay Area from April through September, lay off for four months, and schedule the rest of the country from January through March.  That was our pattern for over a dozen years.

3. What caused you to shut down Roller Derby in 1973? Was it an executive decision or did factors beyond your control force your hand?

There were a number of factors:  basically we existed from September to December on the revenue we had received during the rest of the year.  We laid off a number of people who didn't mind as they would go on unemployment comp and vacation, but we depended on the revenue from the road tour to get the majority of our income.  In late 1972 a number of the skaters became dissatisfied that there was not year-around employment and they in essence struck for more money (our ticket prices were only $1, $2, and $3 at most venues, so we didn't have that much to expend).  We had not heavy capitalization, no bank loans, and no partners, all of which were a mistake.  Then this was the time of a real gas shortage.  Prices were not the factor, but gas in essence was just not available.  People did not want to drive.  Many of our arenas cancelled dates on us because the buildings could not be heated.  There were other problems, and by fall of 1973, I was forced to shut down the league.  Ironically, our final game was a sellout at Madison Square Garden.  We were able to pay some of our obligations, but that was it with Roller Derby.

I went on to start BASS Tickets, a computerized ticketing company in the SF Bay Area, and eventually become executive Vice President, sales and marketing for Ticketmaster.
4. What are your thoughts on Roller Derby today? How do you think it compares to the league you ran in the 60's?

I am very supportive of Roller Derby today....the Leagues have started by themselves, the participants owning and operating them.  Our skaters were professional who were paid to skate an average of 5 games a week when we were playing.  Our sport was aimed at the spectators, today it is really for the players.  Some of our games were primarily exhibitions, today's are fully legitimate contests.  There are definitely pluses to both, but how can you argue when today there are almost 900 leagues in the world with over 35,000 participants in 33 countries.

I think there will eventually be a professional league as interest continues to grow.

5. When would you say that Roller Derby was at its peak popularity (excluding the modern version)? What was it like then?

Roller Derby hit its peak from the mid 60's to the early seventies.  Our tour of the midwest, east, and south sold out in every major arena, from 19,500 at Madison Square Garden to cities from Bangor Maine to Miami, Dallas, Portland, Seattle and more.  Our record crowds:  35,000 at the Oakland Stadium, and on September 15, 1972, over 50,000 at White Sox Park in Chicago.

I loved the promotion, and when it worked, I was the happiest.  The skating was fantastic and it is hard to believe that it was almost 40 years ago.

I thoroughly enjoy the games today and really appreciate the skill and effort that the players are putting into them.  I see as many as I can.

an ode to writer's block

No matter how good or bad my mood is, nothing is as constant as my dear friend, Writer's Block. He is never welcome, yet always seems to appear at the most inconvenient of times. I have yet to figure out how to subdue him, or even keep him away from me for very long anymore.
Oh, how I do hate him, this horrible mental infestation known as writer's block. He definitely is a block - a frustrating, unwelcome, creativity-squashing block. I have such vividly violent fantasies about him. The things I wish to do to Writer's Block would terrify even the bravest of men.
Damn you, Writer's Block. I want to write! If only I'd never met your hideous self...

what a beautiful day (:

The weather is actually acknowledging that it's halfway through May right now. Go Washington, show that springtime!
It's wonderfully sunny out...

...and everything just looks so gorgeous...the grass, the trees, the flowers...even the weeds!

Oh and this is Mae, my mildly wild and not-all-there precious little furball :] (If you're wondering what she's doing, she's hiding under the back deck because my mere presence once again scared the crap out of her)

Pretty much today has just got me in a fantastic mood! I hope everyone else's day is going at least half as well :)

maybe this time...

I don't know how many times I have tried and failed to sustain a blog. I'm not entirely sure why I continually fail at this endeavor. I would have to guess that it has quite a lot to do with the fact that I simply lose interest after a few weeks. I forget about it, I don't know what to write about, etc. And I say this every time I start one up, but this time I really think I can do it. This time I refuse to quit. I have absolutely no idea what I will pack into the little corner of the World Wide Web that I have claimed for myself, but hopefully I can figure that out along the way and maybe - just maybe - keep this one going for a while.
Wish me luck! :)